


You In Front Of Me

by green_feelings



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, They love each other, and bedding that into canon, as always, but it stays pretty vague, there are no explicit mentions of any canon events, this is basiclly just my take on how compliant harry and louis' lyrics are, this is my first canon fic for this fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 10:00:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20655353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/green_feelings/pseuds/green_feelings
Summary: Nothing's perfect, even if they are perfect for each other.





	You In Front Of Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hiii! So. I don't think any of us are still alive after that performance yesterday. And I just couldn't resist turning that headcanon about their lyrics complementing each other so well into a small ficlet. 
> 
> It's my first take on canon, but there aren't any specific canon events mentioned. I'm warming up to writing canon, so bear with me! 
> 
> Have fun reading, you guys!

Giving up was not an option. 

Sometimes, Louis thought while he sat at the kitchen table, arms folded in front of his chest, eyes watching the surface of his tea that had long turned cold; sometimes all of this simply got too hard. 

It was too hard - the crazy schedules, the recording in between tour dates, the lack of sleep. The pretending. Not seeing each other enough. Seeing each other too much. Sometimes, it got difficult to handle, and sometimes, they didn’t handle it the same. 

What counted, though, was that they wanted the same. In the end, what they wanted was coming home to each other, living in each other’s pocket, sharing their lives. What they wanted was commitment, love, desire - the good and the bad times. 

Louis wanted Harry; all of him. He had wanted it from the beginning and there had never been a doubt that Harry wanted him the same. There was no question about that. In a world like theirs, it wasn’t always easy to make it work. 

Louis tore his gaze from the calm surface of his tea, still sitting untouched in his cup. He looked around the kitchen, eyes roaming before landing on a spot above the door. They had tried removing it as best as they could, to no avail. It was ketchup, as far as Louis remembered. Not that it mattered. What mattered was that it was still there, still visible, even though Harry had even tried painting it over. 

It had been their first party in this flat after moving in together. A bunch of teenagers getting rowdy on New Year’s Eve, the party completely over the top because neither of them had had an idea what “party like a proper celeb” even meant. So they had gone a bit over the top. 

Despite having several houses and flats all over the world by now, Louis had never sold this one. It was his on the paper, because Harry hadn’t even been legal when they had moved in together. He had been young, naive, and so, so in love with Louis. There hadn’t even been a question about moving in together. It had been decided on a whim, and ever since then, Princess Park had become their starting point. 

It was what had brought Louis back. They barely still came out here anymore. Yet, this place was home like no other. This place held what they never had again after spreading out; after becoming big deals. After developing stage personalities, going on public dates with girls for the press, after signing contracts to hide who they really were. 

It held untainted memories. 

Louis’ eyes fell to the doorway when he heard the dull sound of the front door being opened and closed. Keys rattled quietly, a moment of hesitation in the movement of taking off a coat. Then steps came closer before Harry appeared in the doorway. 

They stared at each other for a moment. 

“Should’ve known you’d be here.” Harry’s voice was raspy. As though he hadn’t used it in a while. 

Louis ignored the statement; not sure what he should reply. After all, there was no arguing. Of course Harry had known. He knew Louis better than anyone else. 

“How was New York?” Louis asked instead, leaning forwards to put his arms on the table. 

Harry remained standing in the doorway. He didn’t reply. 

Of course he didn’t. He, as well, knew that he didn’t have to because Louis already knew the answer. 

And Louis did. He had been furious, angry, agonising, disappointed. Probably not in that order, and probably all of that at once. He had been mad at Harry, and hurt to be treated like that; hurt to be left behind. 

Louis cleared his throat. “You didn’t stay in our flat.” 

“I stayed at a hotel first.” He shrugged. “Slept in our flat tonight, though.” 

“Why?” 

Harry was quiet for a moment, his eyes searching Louis’ face. “You know why.” 

Casting his eyes down, Louis watched the surface of his tea again. It moved, slow waves rocking back and forth when Harry sat down across from him. 

“We should talk.” 

Looking up, Louis felt the blood drain slowly from his face. It wasn’t a rush, didn’t send his heart into a frenzy. If anything, it felt like it was beating even slower than before. He struggled to breathe properly when he looked at Harry, shaking his head. 

“We’re not breaking up. No.” 

It was Harry’s turn to go pale. “Did you think about that?” 

“It’s not an option, Harry.” Louis wanted to reach out, but he knew they weren’t at that point yet. They couldn’t keep making the same mistakes over and over again. They had to find a new approach to solving this. “It never was. It isn’t now.” 

“But…” Harry bit his lip. “Something’s different this time.” 

Louis hummed. His heart rate picked up speed when he realised what he was about to say. It was scary, and he knew it wouldn’t be easy. This whole thing had stopped being easy a long time ago, though. 

“We shouldn’t just talk, Harry,” he said, making sure to keep his eyes locked with Harry’s. “We should open up.”

Blinking slowly, Harry exhaled on a shuddering breath. “I thought so, too.” Then, lower, he added: “You may not like everything I’ve got to say.” 

Louis nodded. “We need to say, them, though.” 

“Can’t wait for our problems to magically dissolve, can we?” Harry tried a laugh, but it sounded hollow, fake. 

Louis’ heart clenched and he swallowed thickly. His voice came out rough, barely above a whisper. “It’s the first time any of us said it out loud.” 

Harry frowned slightly, confusion colouring his expression. “That we took our problems too lightly?” 

“That we have problems in the first place.” 

For a moment, Harry looked down, his finger circling one of his rings. “We do, Lou.” 

“I know, darling.” Louis finally reached out to touch Harry, his fingertips grazing Harry’s wrist. “I know.” 

How long had he sat here, thinking about every single problem they had pretended didn’t exist? He had run miles in his head, had dreamed of how they’d solve them and things would go back to normal. 

Normal, however, was a process. Louis had needed a while to understand that. Nothing needed to go back to how it had been before. This relationship had to evolve and be shaped to move on to the next stage. Nothing ever stayed the same. Everything changed, and their relationship wasn’t an exception. 

Constants, Louis thought, looking at Harry’s face. He took in the dark circles under Harry’s eyes, saw the ashen tone of his skin, and how bitten Harry’s lips were. There were constants in this relationship that remained, no matter in which direction it evolved. 

Love, affection, shared memories. Happy and sad ones. 

Harry exhaled loudly. He turned his hand, opening his palm. “It’s good to be home, you know.”

Putting his hand into Harry’s, Louis smiled at him. “It’s nice to sit together like this.” 

“Do you remember how we had dinner together here all the time?” 

“Like a proper couple, coming home from work, eating together.” Louis hummed. “We didn’t have a care in the world.” 

“We’ve told each other everything,” Harry added. He laced his fingers with Louis’. “We haven’t done that in a while, have we?” 

“We’ll make it work,” Louis promised, even though he had no idea how. He pulled Harry’s hand closer, blowing a gentle kiss onto the knuckles. 

For a while, they sat like that, looking at their linked fingers, Louis’ lips gently pressed against Harry’s skin. The dim light of the kitchen lamp reflected off Louis’ cold tea, the only noises that could be heard their calm breathing. 

“You know,” Harry said then, thumb brushing over Louis’ in slow circles. “I spent the last few days in that hotel room, and I was mad at you, and I was mad at myself, and I waited for you to call and say you’re sorry, but-- I left that all there. It feels like I’ve left it all in a box there, and it’s not gone, but it’s in that box for later, so I can focus on what’s really important now.” 

Lifting his gaze to Harry’s, Louis lowered their linked hands to the table. “C’mon, love, let’s figure this out.” 

Harry got up and filled the kettle, and Louis knew that after this, they’d say things that would hurt. They’d say things Louis didn’t want to say and didn’t want to hear. He knew, however, that they needed to be said. 

They’d be able to move on, and come out of it stronger than before. 

Giving up was not an option. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading <3


End file.
